what if...

 

(image via weheartit) 

(i can only dream i drive on roads like this)

with all my driving to and from school, i have a lot of time in the car. lately, i have been listening to rick mckinley's podcasts from imago dei in portland. it's been a time i look forward to as it usually benefits me more than lady gaga. 

the past two podcasts have been about jonah. i was amazed at all the new things i learned from a story i thought i knew very well. there are a few thoughts that have been resonating in me, but the main one is this:

what if i got everything i wanted?

gosh, my mind's been fixed on this lately. so often i get mine and God's roles mixed up. i'm certain i know what's best and what i want most and i get so angry when God puts something in the way of that. i like to think that i have a far better idea of what's going on as opposed to God... crazy. 

so, i've been thinking about all of my dreams and visions of the way i had planned my life and how most of those things didn't work out. when that happens, it is hard to figure out what "God is love" means. yet, i am in this place of life. i am married, living in dc, in nursing school and it's better than any dream i could have created. my husband is beyond anything i could have created in my head. dc has been an adventure and has grown ryan and i hugely. and nursing school is such a blessing and my friends there are better than i could have wished for. God knew... He knows. 

last week our pastor here, mark batterson, spent some time on this verse:

now all glory to God, who is able, through his mighty power at work within us, to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think.

-ephesians 3:20

God is good. and though i may never understand why some things happen, i have faith in knowing he is the God of the universe and is doing something bigger than what i want.

-kelsie.